the tortss and the hare
the tortes and the hare were lining up for the race then pow the starting gun goes and they are off the hare taking a huge leed over the hare oh oh what is happing now the turtle has picked up his shell and is running incredibly fast ohoho the tortiss has over takin the hare oh my goodness this is amazing the tortiss has 200 meters to go now 150 now 100 oh the hare dosent look happy 50 meters 25, 15,10,5,1 and the tortes is the winner the hare looks ofly bad he thought that he has this race in the bag. The tortes is so exhausted but by the way he looks he is very happy.
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4/5 good other then spelling "tortss"
ReplyDeleteInteresting ideas; a nice twist on the original story. Watch your spelling - sometimes errors get in the way of the meaning!
ReplyDelete3
4 because its a good story with some bad spellings, i saw you write it... and its still funny
ReplyDeleteVery nice. Like the tortss ha but try to check your spelling next time. 4/5
ReplyDeleteBoom
As a favor, "tortss" is spelt tortoise.
ReplyDeleteThe hare takes a huge "leed" over the hare?
Lead not "leed" and shouldn't it be the hare takes a huge lead over the tortoise?
finally, work on your punctuation.
It's a great idea don't get me wrong.